RANSVESTIA

dows, looking with excitement in the pages of my mother's women's magazines at all those lovely clothes and looking at women wishing I could feel the loveliness of their garments.

My marriage changed very little; as time went on my need and guilt increased in equal proportion.

About eight years ago I changed jobs which gave me the opportun- ity and an expense account to vent my need to express my feminine nature. Four times I disposed of my girl clothes and tried to purge my guilt. I had sought help in college from two priests, who only expressed a sense of bewilderment.

I came off the road four years ago to take an office job. This was the last time I disposed of my wardrobe.

My frustration was now expressed and released in helping my wife with her sewing. After a few hints to her of my desire to dress, the nightmare of my inward conflict with my responsibility and my fe- male needs began. The result was my hurting my wife, whom I love very much, and agreeing to seek psychiatric help. This proved that the psychiatrist needed more help with his problem than I needed with my own.

I was a frequent visitor to the library and there I discovered the "note" of Sally's in the card catalog.* The results were that for the first time in my life I could talk to someone who understood my needs. At my first party, one year ago, I met some beautiful people and found out about a psychologist who was interested in FPs.

I wasted no time in contacting the doctor and my wife and I went to him within a week. After explaining to him the situation he replied by saying, “A clap of thunder, a flash of lightning, and out flew a bat.” I still don't think it's that simple. My wife spent more time in ther- apy that I did. She has accomplished more in acceptance of my na- ture than I have. But, I'm still trying and learning who I really am.

* * *

This refers to a discovery technique used by a member in Texas. Under "T" (for transvestism) in the library card catalog she inserted a foreign card that fitted exactly but which said "for information about Trans- vestism contact the Foundation for Personality Expression Box 36091 L.A. CA. 90036”. If others of you would do the same thing we could find a lot more lonely sisters.